Sunday, December 10, 2006

公元前后

回到公元前灰白陈旧 古罗马
寒冬腊月 冬耕小农夫在浩叹
铜墙铁壁 在窗旁 婢女含泪 思君曲
雪霜离愁 临别一眼 已五个秋冬

公元1993 四季为秋 岛屿风情 你我是谁
孤傲文静 班上角落 嘴角微笑 什么滋味
播了相思子 虽怠慢萌芽 但没忘记了期待

十余秋 翻开回忆五斗柜
古罗马淡忘谁 千年路成全了谁
镜花水月 在芬芳 在皎洁 易闪开
枯花残月 虽有泪光 有遗憾
实实在在 慢不慌 爱不慌

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Money and everything else over sex??

Just today i read a article in the newpaper about Singaporeans choosing money, time with close ones, health, leisure time over sex. Can this be a true reflection of the mental state of Singaporeans? I am curious. I would like to do a snap poll among my friends to check if this is true but i think i shall decide against it.

Firstly, the poll which i may put up will be biase because of my sample population. Sample population means the group of people that will be subjected to the polls. My beastly friends will definitely put sex on the top of their list!! Hahahaha!! But then again, that's generalistion and would not put my friends in good light and it would put me in a spot for thinking that all my friends are all sexually deprived monsters!!

Secondly, people might not give a truthful answer. Singaporeans though globally exposed are still conservative. To choose sex over other aspects would make them seems less hardworking, unfilal or even unhealthy. Common! If someone ask you to choose from the 5 choices above and you si bei buay pai seh and go choose SEX!! You are making yourself look bad what? Hahaha!!

Frankly speaking, i don't know how to choose between them. I guess i would choose more leisure time so that i can meet up with my close ones, then allocated some of the leisure time for sex, and then allocated some of the leisure time to earn extra bucks like giving tuition, and then allocated some of the leisure time to do exercise. Steady. One stone kills all birds!

But as we all working adult know... leisure time belongs to the boss.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

"We lose sight of things... Sometimes"

Tiong bahru. My favourite haunt, where this incident happen...

Willy, Youyi and me were sitting at Banggawan Solo, talking about Youyi's new adventures of job searching. He has applied for Operations Executive position at Geylang shipyard and the job scope was to make sure all imports and exports of chickens were in good order and shape. Mr Willy came a little later in cab after he was shot in the back by some last minute, razor sharp broken arrow. By the time we start having our coffeee, it was about 9:10pm.

I was a little hungry and decided to get a double cheese burger as snack. This cheese burger that i wanted, i had thought of it wanting to get it when i was walking around the mall with Youyi half an hour ago while waiting for the "VIP" (Willy). I left them at the table and went ahead to grab my cheese burger.

I set myself up in the queue and look around to see if i can get other burger. I look at the $2 everyday promotions poster at Macdonalds' staring hard at it and saw my double cheese burger at $2. Then i decided to see what other burger i can have for and i look around finally deciding that the $2 double cheese burger is the only burger that is cheap and at $2. I waited patiently in the queue til i saw the lady in front of me ordered something $2 paid and left. It looks like a burger. A burger with yellow wrappings around. Ah... McChicken...










I glanced back at the poster and i wondered... Did i, in my pursuit of my desires, of things that i want, missed out on other things that would have made me better off? YES! I must have missed out on wonderful moments in my blind and relentless pusuit of wants. This incident show me how easy it was for me to lose touch with my senses. Even though, i ain't blind, i failed to see and realise. I was so keen and focused on getting the double cheese burger that i lost sight of the McChicken that was in fact more obvious to the eyes in the poster. I hope i would realise many such moments in my life and retify my actions.

I had my McChicken and felt happier...

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Khaki Bermudas

I have been thinking of setting up this post long time ago but I could not find the way to represent the complexities of the situation in its barest form. By barest, it does not mean “R21” but rather a quick relation or realization to the topic of the post. Ha! It seems more and more like I am trying to act “Cheem” but I am not. In this posting, you can partake in some way or another. I hope you do get involve in someway because this would enable you to feel what I wanted to bring across. Please, there are no multiple choices because in life there just are not so many clear cut choices. Alright, below is how the story goes…

You are having a meal in a food court with your family and everyone was chit chatting about almost every other things. You have a cup of traditional coffee in the style of “Yakun” (coffee cup that has a saucer under) and other than the coffee that you are having filled to the brim, the spilled-over coffee also settled upon the saucer. Now you see an auntie or uncle wiping the table next to you (common sight as the stain of coffee often need to be wiped off). You try to go for your cup of coffee, how would you approach it?

This was what that went through my mind. Thinking the auntie or uncle would have a tough time wiping the table, I decided to lift the cup and scrap the bottom of the cup against the side of the saucer to rid the spilled over in case they drip on the table. After my sip, to further ensure that the table would be stain free, I put my cup back into the saucer. Before I leave the coffee shop, I had one last sip of the coffee. I did not repeat scrapping the cup against the saucer. “Drip”, “Drop” two little drops of coffee landed like the Hiroshima bombs on my khaki bermudas. I smiled.

I read about Cause and Effect in Buddhism long time ago. At that moment, the coffee drip upon my Khaki bermudas, I understood what the theory implies.

“…the destiny of beings is not the outcome of mere blind chance, nor does it depend upon the arbitrary action of an imaginary creator, but that our destiny is to be traced back to our own former actions…”

(http://www.hinduwebsite.com/sacredscripts/buddhism/fundamentals_of_buddhism.asp)

There were many actions that, I or even you, could have taken based on the situation given. For every one of the actions that we commit ourselves to, there would be an effect, upon others or ourselves or even on everyone else.

I went to the toilet at Marina Square, took some toilet paper, dapped them with water and started rubbing my khaki Bermudas.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

A**hole

Came to know of a new a**hole. A hypocrite make me sick to the core. Whatever happen in his short miserable life made him the way he is man? I pray that he will change for the better. I know shooting him here makes no sense but i need an avenue to vent the frustrations. Care to share any two-freaking headed snake out there guys? TMD! Trying to be a smart a** making every little single comment he made seems smart alecky. My threshold for angry bust up is really a big barrrel and this Bas**** top it to the brim man! BUT still have to suck it up because you are a freaking trainee!! Na bei!! I am a human being... I deserve the very right to be treated like one. On one should be above me or be below me because it just doen not make sense. The structure of corporate world leaves me with a sick feeling in my mouth...

Friday, August 11, 2006

我染上了煙癮
不是一個讓我享受的毒隱
是揮之不去的心情
我把自己逼到害怕籠罩灰色的牢
獨自空虛 獨自嘆氣 嘆出致命的那吸
我怎麼心虛 I DONT KNOW WHY
世界諷刺我的傷痕累累 寂寞羨慕我沒人了解
獨自蹲在世界排擠的角落 還有毒隱陪伴
就算曲終人散 IT HURTS LESS

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Tiong Bahru Bangawan Solo Philo Lesson

Me, Willy, Youyi were sitting down at Bangawan solo having the late afternoon tea. We were wondering how one of our friends is coping with his "new-found" and "reborn" life. We shared the same view as each other and we were all at least going in the same direction as each other. With no opposition to fire away its side of the story, it made our views seem so right and just and philosophical!!

We have a friend, who seems to have changed, but shades of his yester years remains and who seems to be the same, but have changed. We are confused, or is he? Has it been tough for him? Supressed feelings maybe? Thinking twice about doing things?

Are we the ignorant ones? Probably so. Much was said but little was remembered. However much that was said, little will change.

"You all wont understand" as they always love to claim. But did you ever try to help us understand? I would love to know... Or maybe there wasn't anything at all to understand.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

自痺

It seems like a sad love posting... but it really is not... Read on please... It is important!

我拒絕異常現象
希望一切如同往常
平淡會少一點傷

我拒絕擁抱
對愛距離抱持一定
像一雙筷子 靠近卻不在一起

我的世界 自己對自己
不要來打擾 不要來試著了解
以為你會明白 你不會

我自己對著自己
我表達 我明白
你永遠無法喚醒已經沉睡痲痺的感覺

你那像滿園子里枯落的葉 的眼淚
我不能體會 不能感覺
不要哭 不要浪費眼淚
冷冷的心對待你的心碎

如果我是自痺 以上的表達不能畫上據點
也沒有開始的機緣 為你落一滴淚


The above post reflects my feelings for the people with autism. Never enough that i write could ever express the feelings they have and the hardships and struggles they go though every single day. I hope the posting would be able to raise some awareness among my friends about autism. Got the inspirations from a show on channel U or channel 8 recently about autistic people and it affected me badly enough to want to share my thoughts and how i feel.

These shows made me realise just how lucky i am. To have to just experience 1% of what the parents and the autistic child go through would have severely crippled me. What am i to continue pursuing the seemingly "important" things in my life? Maybe they will have a less significant importance from now on? I don't really know. I may fall back to the realm of darkness, into the depths of trying hard to achieve something that always remain elusive...

For the moment it set my sights shorter, and it is a good thing. I feel less need to walk further when i see nearer. I take a step at a time at my pace enjoying the sceneries along the way. I don't want to play the games you guys play. It makes me very tired sometimes. I want to rest...

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Ringings in the ears

I got ringings in my ears...

It must be about work... A kind of screwed up work. A work whereby the sensory limits of human capabilities are stretched and you still have to pay attention to people nagging and shouting at you. You know they want you to do well and they don't want to scold you for nothing but it seems that once they get into the high of giving you "advice" they no longer have a slightest intend to stop. I got no excuses for my cocked up work and i fully deserved the reprimands of the instructors but sometimes i just hope they stop after a while to let me think; if i am still able to by then. I cannot hear well most probably hindered by the constant ringing in my ear drums pumped up with the fustrated instructors' breath. It still is ringing... I hope it would discontinue for a while...

I hope my work will get a little better in time to come. I really do hope so. Just so the ringing in my ears would stop...

Friday, May 05, 2006

"Alections 2006" -- The "Worked" Party

My fellow Singaporeans,

The days leading up to 6th May are important and critical ones. An important decision will rest upon your shoulders to decide which party is to lead the nation into the future. A future no one can predict of, yet the masses of white termites seems to suggest it is going to be better with them around. Wrong! ("Gek Say A Bit By Shouting Out")

After the 2001 elections, they "Buay Pai Say" any anyhow increase the fares of public transport. I have to pay additions of so much more just to travel short distances. Times must have erased some of your angst but let me remind you! ("Gek Say A Bit By Shouting Out Again"). Remember the days where they are things called the "Feeder Services". Today, where are they? All changed to become air-con buses taking us short distances charging us 65cents. That is 85% increase over the days where they cost only 35cents. "Elic Lowe" with strong accounting background can count so can i man! He check other peoples' account somemore! If only PM is willing to be as open about the minister's paycheck...

AH TIO!! One more thing... GST!! Increase to 5% somemore. It's definitely going to go up and it is going to affect people. Seriously! Why do Ministers say it is necessary for them to go up so that the economy can function properly? Because they take home a lot of money and 5% to them is chicken feet man! How about the poorer Singaporeans? You think by giving them 500 dollars the government can help them tide through 5 freaking years of GST?

Government give progress packges. But the rich also get the money! They take a little bit less then the poorer Singaporeans. But you think the money matters to them(Rich)? No what! But the government says they have to be fair to all and then all get. The poor get about a few hundred more. It is almost sure that some poor people get same or even less than the richer comrades. So my fellow Singaporean do the right thing! Give the termites a wake up call!

We are fighting an uphill battle. The weapons we uses is lousy SAW where as the termites are attacking us will GPMG machine gun. They throw upgarding carrot almost every "Alections". Let me tell you! I listen liao also want to vomit. Sorry, I must try to be as refine in my speech if not i will be sued and they will play back tape and record my voice without me knowing. Fantastic! SI BEI THERE!! Back to upgrading... Mr "Mak" Chiam upgraded his flats with seeming $2 million less than and the residents NO NEED TO CO-PAY!! Why the unfair tactics? In first world politics, even gound is where all is being fought. Do not dangle they ungrading carrot often. It pisses people off. You mean people in "HowGang" and "Proton Pratsay" not Singaporeans? If you want first class opposition you have to be first class in attitude first. That is the fact of life as what the MM said that he cannot help oppositions win votes by upgrading their flats. That in itself is not a world class endeavour. I address all as Singaporeans and all shall be equal no matter where you stay and who you support. Paying for the lift upgrading is paying for the mistakes that the government failed to forsee when they build the flats. They expected people to eat "Chang Sheng Bu Lau" medicine and remain fit forever. Now they are asking us to pay for their gross oversight. How fair is it? Why not pay us when ministers gain back their pay cuts? We are the ones who worked to get the economy back on track. We have worked long enough.

The "WORKED" Party

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

This Moment In Phuket ( Kata Beach )

Hey all,
This very moment i am at Kata Beach Phuket typing this blog message which i speculate would be a very short one because i have only 9 minutes of time left in this coffee house. Time is running out. To make things worse, Sandy made a mess by spilling out a quater cuppa of my Latte ontop the table. Time check: 0754 left.

She just left the table to wash her hands. I had great fun here looking at beach babes and BIG PAPAYAS. To be honest they do not look good: to the extent of disgusting. The beach is beautiful, the ocean fantastic, the room comfy and the scenery leaves me wanting. Time check: 5:00 left.

I should most probably end now. If not there will not be enough time to save this page for upload. Love ya guys.

From:
The Beach Hunk of Kata Beach
Handsome Png

Saturday, March 25, 2006

On Serious Note

The serodrome control course has about a life span of 5 weeks and so does the 10 of us, the trainees. As much as i try to blog down something for this posting, the harder it seems for thoughts to flow. Or maybe my mind is just blank; numb of feelings but those of emptiness or at the prospect of it(emptiness)...

What more could i wish for but for all to make the grade
What more could i wish for but happier times playing "asshole" game
We share a bond that last just short of a year
A bond that links us closer together, but which might no longer be
At "Secret Garden" we shared first loves
AT "TCC' we shared treasured laughters
On this moment as i sit in front of my computer, time 2:03am
I feel a certain happiness, an ongoing one but which might never last
I feel a certain sadness, an impending one but which might not become one
We have nothing in common but yet so similar
We are similar yet each is unique
I put on my head phone i starts to feel tinge of sadness...
Its playing "寂寞的季节"
Its the song you are listening to now

風兒吹落一片一片葉
樹葉任風兒催啟寂寞的感覺
張滿祿葉的那樹枝
沒有堅持信念
任風兒帶走一片葉
每一片葉兒感覺有一點悲
葉兒怎麼做怎麼錯
什是對什是錯怎麼做了都錯
也訏問題不在葉兒的懵懂
而是風兒諷刺的寒冷冬

Monday, February 27, 2006

IPPT

Why does every Ippt makes me feels like puking during the final stretch of the 2.4km run? The puke was almost up my throat when i crossed the finishing line. I, however, did not feel happy
completing the run but rather f*** up cause i rush to the toilet to puke. Yellowish, sourish substance oozes freely out...

Training for Ippt started a long time ago even before Chinese New Year but i delayed the taking of the Ippt for the fear of failing. Running on the treadmil in the gym constantly to improve stamina, mounting the bar to do a couple of chin-ups, jumping around and training the fats-invested abdominals became a fixture in my weekly schedule. An advice for all those training for the next Ippt, running on the treadmil gives you the false impression that you can run withinn the timing. To achieve maximum results please go to the track and "RUN THE 6 RDS". This will be the most accurate representation of your 2.4km timing. The treadmil has shock absorbtion to reduce impact on your legs making you feel less tired and the contant belt rate cannot be representative of your ability to meet the timing. But, of course, for a start to your training programme the treadmil is a good avenue.

After months of training and preparation, you would have thought that you will easily ace the run but hack, things are always not what you planned for, especially the run. I hate it! Just the start of the run and i feel uncomfortable all over. You start hoping for a miracle to happen when you can give up and still managed to pass. You pant like never before and its like running with a parachute behind you and every step is a step closer to a collapsed heart, but run you still must. After you finish one round you stop for a drink. F***! Those people standing around the water point are really not people that are going to serve you the drinks! I went up the them and thought the would pass me a drink and i can run and then throw the cup some distance down. THEY FREAKING LOOK AT ME BLANKLY! Then i realised the water point was for you to fill up your own cup, slowly enjoy the drinks, then run again. Disgusted, i grabbed a cup and scope up some water near a pail that was meant for people to was the cups and gulped down a mouthful. "SONG"! Then the agony starts once more...

The last round was littered with raps of my puking sounds, "ORH...", "HERH...", "ORYAK..." the puke was almost up my troat when i crossed the finishing line. I, however, did not feel happy completing the run but rather F*** up cause i rushed to the toilet to puke. Yellowish, sourish substance oozes freely out...

My timing 11:11...

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Doggie Year!

Celebrations galore as we once again welcome the Chinese New Year following the recent partying during Christmas and the Ang Moh New Year.

The Lunar Year this spring thrusts man's best friend into the limelight! Doggie! I am not a fan of dogs after being chased around by 2 freaking ugly canines during a jogging session a year ago. The very thought of it scares the shit out of me even til now man! Freak out!! Imagine a big size man calling out of help in desperation and you will know how helpless i felt then... Damn it!!

I have been seeing more and more of doggies hanging out around the city lately. Be it sitting in a car, going for a run, going shopping and as i was typing this, i heard a few dogs barking!! Oh no!! We have been invaded by these hairy creatures just like a movie i once saw about a dog who was a spy! Many people are getting dogs especially when the lunar year is that of the dog, guess they feel that having one of those creature would rake in some "BIG BARKS(bucks)" in the coming year. SO... I wonder why, why did they not keep Dragons? And why not some BIRDS last year when birdies were bring in some flu? Guess the flu vacine the United States scientists came out with today would be useful...

I guess SPCA better get ready to upgrade their compound to accomondate discarded pet doggies after a few weeks or maybe next year when the people chooses to keep pigs instead. By upgrading i dont just mean increasing the capacity but also the quality of the food they provide for the spoilt doggies. Imagine giving them clothes to wear and YES! Ridiculously giving them a plate of "Yu Sheng" to freaking eat!! F***! How will the "Lao"? Maybe with the Castrated D*** ? How lavishly we people are willing to splurge on doggies?! Can 2006 be a lousy year when the citizens are willing to spend so willing? Hardly! Thus, brace yourself for the good year ahead guys... Things can only look better and better.

I have nothing against dogs even though i was chased by them but i feel really uncomfortable at the great lengths and money people are willing to spend on the doggies. Please love your dog wisely... I always wonder, how will the a poddle feel when he has to look into a mirror to see himself cleanly shaved from the hind legs up till half its body and then coverd from head downwards with puffy curly furs? Isn't it like running round naked with a towel wrap around the top? Or having your jewels taken away from you leading to Mr Doggies not being able to feel horny and being capable of having good sex? Maybe Mr Doggie doesnt even like sex but at least his jewels keeps him manly enough to look up and walk in the park proudly showing his treasured pocession. Or being dressed up like with tight fitting clothes that seems analogous to the one Green HULK wears when he becomes angry!! Please all, be kind to your dogs, let it all be nature at least... And yes! Do not treat the dog better than you treat yourself... Unless you wanna be worse than a dog... On this note...

Happy Chinese New Year!!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

流浪思念

这是看了一对相爱的恋人,被别人所定下的规则,而分隔两地的爱。他们深爱着对方也对彼此给予的爱深信不疑,虽然两年里面见不到三次。小两口仍旧相信,相信有一天,必定有一天,思念不会流浪,拥抱不会是没温度的寂寞冬天。

我被他们的故事感动了,以下的字句就来叙述这一种感觉。

爱越国而来,两人能表白
越国的候鸟,让土鸡明白了爱
花儿芬芳,鱼儿也自在
相似戏水的鸳鸯,两人能愉快

四季坚持信念,
候鸟不可能在土鸡的世界存活下来
飞走了爱…

寒冷的冬天,
花儿害羞了起来,鱼儿也失了怀
土鸡任寒风吹袭,却怎么也飞不起来
含泪往着天边,仍就相信给予的爱还存在
冬洁了泪眼,一旧相信给予的爱
永远都在,不会停下来

候鸟也不曾舍弃这份注定的爱…
流浪思念 永恒的爱

Sunday, January 01, 2006

New Year

The year of 2005 closes not with not a loud bang but the sum of many small 'popping' sounds of poppers, whistle, balloons bursting and foam spraying. I ended my 2005 feeling excited, consious and with a purpose but entered the new year (2006) in a daze, without directions and sleepy from the vokha that flows plentiful in the tiny constricted blood vessels of mine. I begin to suspect that the coming days ahead may not be smooth sailing. Alas! Who cares anyway!! Partying is the way to go man!
The past year has been eventful. Much has happen. If i allow myself to walk down the year 2006 with recollections of what i did the year before, i am afraid i may missed out some very important events. I gave myself time to think of the events that happen.

1) FYP and FYP presentations
2) Interviews with CAAS
3) Graduation Ceremony
4) Part time as a videographer
5) On Training Course
6) Attachments to Changi Towers

Each event above invoked many feelings, anguish, anxiety, relief, uncertainty, anger, frustrations... I like the feeling of being involved in things, taking a part in something and basking in the moments (whatever moments they may be). I am happy 2005 have been such a great year. In fact i may never have a bad year, i guess... I am lucky to be able to see things always in its lighter moods. Falling into the realm of pessimism constipates my positivity. I do, however, fall in sometimes. This constipation really doesn't last long for i have no wish to or rather, no time, in this short life span of mine to dwell myself in the negativity and the things that make myself a less happy person. I thank god for that... And when i say god, i mean of "it" in a broader sense. My god is nature, my god is the way of life, my god is law of righteousness (of course whatever is right is debatable), my god is whatever keeps everyone happy that keep me happy, my god is also whatever keeps me happy and others happy, my god is too much for the small finite space of cyber space can hold... For my god is your god, as much as yours is mine. And if you intend to keep yours then this selfish you should not be entitled to any happiness. But then again, the world is not fair. So if you wanna keep yours then do whatever fits you...

This posting seems unfocused; This reflects my life... To be unfocus so as to be least affected by...