钻

This is for a friend who fell out of love. Hope that he will be come out of it soon.

钻

放弃就放弃 没能给我时间 了解你那横了的心
两个月的平息 是我蹂躏战火的宣言 你却忍心
天开始晕旋 没能给我气息 撕裂了淋湿强忍的平静

泪累了 模糊了 看不到没你 会没事 会没泪 没战争
爱情的拔河 赢了有如何
伤人那刻 落魄散落 滋润莫名被遗弃的勇气

你那坚韧如钻的表面 亮丽却空了心
完美曲线 隐瞒不完美的自己
我愿意 你却放弃 没能给我时间 了解你那横了的心

这段感情被过去淹没 你沉默让我脆弱
也让我学习认识自我
你的围墙 留给你自己孤单的守候
我不会再城门看守和等后

Free people

Wow!! Almost 3 months of no blogging! Seems to have slack off a lot man...

Dun really have much wish these days to log into blogging world and put in my 2 cents worth about my views on life; as if they matter. In fact, i really think that it does not really matter to anybody. We all go about everyday doing the same old shit often without regards to the people around us except to our close ones. What other people do with their lives that would directly or indirectly affect me, i have no control. They could not even care less! Why should they? What i propose or put forth cannot change the world and it should not because the world we reside in is a "free world".

The expression of views and the actions as a result of those views are personal, individual, unique and should be respected. For that, i respect those outcasts of the society that falls out of the normacy of the world that we live in. They have the courage that we do not have. The courage to be different without regards to the societal norms. They faced the greater challenges than us for being different but yet we shoo them off, insults them and talk behind their backs. What are we to judge people for who they are and how they want to live their lives? What are we? We are just people, who for the sake of god knows what, living in a "free world", bounded by the limits of normacy placed upon us by "free people" who lives among us and constantly agrees with what we do for a living. I hate that!

But still, I am a "free person".

When Religion Becomes Evil

The title to the post strikes each of us differently. We judge and see things in opposition rather than in relation to us. To each of the different person reading the title, it is always the existence of other religions that resulted in the chaos and the "evility" of the world. As i flip my book that carries this title on the Mrt and in buses, i fear the mental repercussions in the mind of the multi-faceted people that come across this title. The sensitivity of the subject on Religion and the complexity of it resulted in people minding their own "business" rather than attempt to reach out to other religions and try to understand them. A result of the absolute truth preached by many religions. The idea of the one and only truth that the religion preached. Exclusivity.

People who judged that Islam is the root cause of the many problems that plagued the world today. From the events of September 11th to the promulgation of the other meanings of the term "Jihad", it is hard not to look at Islam in an uncompromising way. But ain't Christainity also guilty for the Crusades, genocides, holocaust. In the recent tibet protests, 9 monks were held by the Chinese government for bombing making! I believe neither the muslims, the christians and the buddists that planned to set the bomb off see themselves as evil beings. The threat against humanity is a blind spot for them as they attempt to accelerate in the highway of evil.

The current world order or should i say chaos need urgent attention. Before an progress can be made we need to define what progress means. When you are standing on the edge of the cliff, progress is no longer define as taking a step forward. Taking a step backward to reconcillate, preach peaceful resolutions is not easy but is surely a necessity in the already chaotic world messed up by messed up religious doctrines and followers of the religions. To see other religion in relation to rather than in opposition to would lead to greater understanding than intolerance. if you see me read my book, maybe you should us yourself what evil has your religion done rather than what evil other religion is capable of.

DABDA!! Emotional Responses

D A B D A:
Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance

The above represents the stages of emotion reactions when people faced with a life-threatening illness or life-changing situation. However, it can be applied in many aspects of your life in many unpleasant situations.

For example,

When Approach called up to scold you for things you had done. Or your boss screwed up your life.

Denial.
You are confused as to why there is such a reaction. You cannot understand what actually is there to be upset about.

Anger.
You get all "TL". Why is it you get wack? So small thing must say til like that meh?

Bargaining.
You suspect yourself and ask yourself if you could have done better. If you had not done what you did what would have happen. If you had done otherwise would it be better.

Depression.
You get upset by the strong language related to you. You get upset and suspect your ability. Demoralised.

Acceptance.
You accepted that you could have done better. You accepted the fact that maybe some people are just easily irritable. You accepted that it is all just part of the job and no one is really against anyone.

This is DABDA. The stages of grief management. The sequence may differ from each person but these are the general emotional reactions.

Have you felt that before? If you have not... May be you have been an A**. Haha!!

Rain

I love it when it rains. Cool comfort of the rain. Monotonous reiteration of rain hitting the surroundings drugs my soul. The cold winter winds chill my bones; refreshingly good. Melancholy gladness.

Just came back from Phuket. The sun, sand and the beautiful beaches. I love it. The food was fine, the whiskey on rocks were smooth. The massage feels good only if the masseur is good. Long walk to the beach in sorching sun. We had pizza, onion rings, cold beer. Swimming in the short lap pool ain't much of a challenge but was good enough for rest and relax. I got to know Kata beach inside out now. It's like going back home everytime i visit. Shall be planning for a next trip. Hopefully it will be soon.

The Management 2

They are back with a vengeance!
The management have never failed to impress me with the way they set things out. It makes me wonder why any person or groups of people with good sense would come out with proposals that aims to cripple the lives their employees and still feel that they have done an excellent job. I am always puzzled by their inability to have any empathy for people. I wonder how they treat their own parents, wives or child. Maybe; heartlessly.

子曰: "己所不欲、勿施於人"
Dont do unto others what you do not wish others to do unto you.

The Management clearly lacks any ability to appreciate the beauty of such words. The implementation of my new shift system in the months to come would reduced the quality time that i need to spent with my family and my gal. The important weekends where normal people do lovey and caring stuff like going to dinner together as a family would become a rarity. Instead i would be force by the highly capable people in the Management to work. I don't like it! I hate the fact that my life is controlled by such incapable people.

When the whole civil service got the 5 to 6% increment many donkey years ago, we were told that the Management are looking into it. Finally, the highly capable people have come out with a fantastic offer of the same UP TO 6% OFFER. It seems like Metro trying to attract some innocent, stupid, idiotic passer-bys to their shop. AND they backdate it to Jan 2008! I cannot help but sense a conspiracy. Shouldn't it be backdated to the days when the whole civil service got the increment? I guess some stupid lazy ass in the Management feels that it would be easy to backdate it to Jan 2008 as it makes the calculation easier for his simplistic mind. I cannot help but wonder what would have happen if the proposal sets the backdate dates to a few months earlier. Maybe the person doing the calculation would have quit because of his inability to calcualte the right amount.

I love my family and i love my free time.
You people sucks big time.
You guys like to suck my love and free time away.
I got no choice but to stay.
If there would be any chance i won't.
I love my job, don't make me dislike it because i cannot have a balanced life to enjoy this short journey on the planet.
I am pro-love.
Don't let that stupidity factor of your gets multiplied into my life.
Your actions don't cause any impact on you but it affects the lives and families of many.
Just stop and let your simplistic mind think.
THINK!

A Talk at a Coffeeshop

We can learn many things regardless of time and place and people. Education does not only come in the form of you doning your school uniform. Education as represented in the dictionary implied;

1.the act or process of imparting or acquiring general knowledge, developing the powers of reasoning and judgment, and generally of preparing oneself or others intellectually for mature life.
2.the act or process of imparting or acquiring particular knowledge or skills, as for a profession.
3.a degree, level, or kind of schooling: a university education.
4.the result produced by instruction, training, or study: to show one's education.
5.the science or art of teaching; pedagogics.

Notice how easily we have simplfied the meaning of education to that of 2,3,4,5? Basically, what we achieve by going to school for the first 20 years of our lives are set out in 2,3,4,5. Of course, for others that have less inkling and opted for a more adventurous journey, the education years are shorter and they may not experience the impacts brought about by 2,3,4,5.

Does it matter if we took the less travelled road? Does it mean we have less of an education because we travelled the untravelled road? The answer is no.
Look at meaning "...acquiring general knowledge, developing the powers of reasoning and judgment...preparing oneself or others intellectually for mature life." You get some development in school but that is not the only place. In world, our environment in a way acts as the best tutor for us in picking up the cues and skills neccessary for a mature state of mind that is able to handle situations and judge with reasoning.

I came across the son of my elderly neighbour when i had drinks with willy at the coffeeshop near my place. I had not seen him for quite a while and he sat himself down with us and talk about his story. There is really one thing i took away from and that which came from him that i truly admire. His sense of filal piety. He was an adopted child of my elderly neighbour. He was not showered with as much love and care and had taken the untrodden route in life. His siblings bullies him a lot when he was younger and even now as all had grown older, accord him with no respect. His elderly mum, like most in her time, have shown preferences towards the other siblings and he was left out of it his whole life.

His duty towards his mother and his sense of purpose impressed me most. In a defeated sign of breathe he said in hokkien:" Pei Bu Si Ai Shoi Eh." (Father and Mother are to be well taken care of). In his tone of voice you could sense the frustrations. Years and years of pent up frustrations and the desperations and exasperations that whatever he does will always not be enough. He will not be appreciated. The last straw came when his mother said:" if you don't take care of the dog, you dont stay here..."

He intends to leave the place and seek a new house for himself. Can i blame him for not being filal and leave the place? Why do i still admire his sense of worth? Because i do not think i can even endure half of what he went through. You must be asking? What has this got to do with the first part of this posting?

Well... at the coffeeshop, i attended a valuable lesson on filal piety. I believe Willy did too.