2004

今天是2004的最后一天，
感触特别的深。
外面还是细雨绵延，
为今年画上凄凉的句点。
美伊战争灌醉和平的使者，
要他醉醒，世界和平，那一天？
莎斯病毒擦身而过，打个喷啼，
便成杀人的致命武器，身体健康，
则成为最珍贵的体会。
巨浪…
无情侵略我们的世界，十万于人没有防备。
灾难面前，任何逃亡显得愚昧。
卷走了笑脸，遗留下泪水，憔悴人们的内心世界。
2004 的结尾，还有数万人祈求奇迹出现，
倒数庆新年带有一些伤悲。

23:35 pm [ 31/12/2004]

Difficult

Hey guys!! Answer this question: What time is it now?

It may seems the simplest of all questions... But it may also be more than what it is... Ponder over it ok? I share with you my thoughts the next time round...

i am back on track doing my travelling, religious study and philosophical nonsence... Have been putting up much recently... not because i have nothing but because i have seen not the need for them... Gain greater insights after reading a very good book:"Buddism is not what you think it is"... Love to share it with you guys soon... however try answering the question in line one and let me know your thoughts through the Tag board...

Public Speaking

Hmm... Let's get a little informative today... I got this information about Public speaking today from the internet and it seems that i do know of all this things but i never really put all of them up to practice. Below are 7 ways to you talking confidently in public again.

1. Relax
Its not a life and death situation. Do not get nervous and clam up. You are just sharing some information. Understand that your audience also know the difficulties of speaking in public and they want to see you do well as well. Use this positive energy to your advantage.

"...this i have no problems with... but to be totally cool about it is not so easy though..." Morgan

2. Know your stuff
Nervousness is the result of being less than prepared. The key is to really know your stuff inside out. Every nook and cranny have to be srcutinised and digested by you.

"...i failed this terribly during the last presentation... i should have know the report inside out... i gave in to conviences and took the presentation for granted...personnally i did not think i did well..." Morgan

3. Know your audiences
If it is going to be your lecturer, you got to know his expectation of you and come to the presentation wanting to live more than up to his standard. Gauge the level of expertise of your audience so that they can related to the topic and the way you convey it.

"... again i took this for granted..."

4. Know the room
Sit at different seats in the room and get the feel of how each of the audience will feel at the particular position so that you will build a better rapport with your audience. Know the setup of the presentation equipment and do a run through. However in Fyp the audiences are just the few lecturers so concentrate on them will be sufficient.

"...was not help in the last presentation.. the 2 lectures yawn and yawn... so no matter where i seat, i might felt tired..."

5) Visualise sucess
Think of the good things and not how you may screwed up. This is important. The state of your mind dictates your performance.

"...i went in half- hearted..."

6) Practise makes perfect
Need i say more? Just work at the presentation again and again. Get your buddies to sit in and give comments and ask them to bombard your work. Not try to be nice. The worse critique at this point of practise is the most crucial. That is how you will learn how to defend yourself when the devilish Lecturer wack you upside down.

"... i tried hard to practise... i guess it was not enough..."

7. Focus on the message
That is the reason you are there in the first place. Get the point across clearly and smoothly.

"...i stumbled a little trying to defend myself on some very unstable platform..."

Will i do better the next time? You bet! I like presentation. It is where i dwell in and i love to share with others my views even if they ain't really receptive or are even hostile. I will defintely want to do my best for the next presentation... That all folks!! Hope these helps...

Friends

Its the exam period...Let not talk about the hard stuff and make some jokes... The hard stuff being the religious stuff, the philosophical stuff or even the poems... sometimes you just get a little sick reading them doesn't it... So what should we talk about? Ha! Seems that finding something good to write can be difficult...in fact tedious... So how about we talk friendship? I think this has been the most forgotten topic in my blog...

Friend: 1) a supporter / an ally 2) someone you know well or really likes... In the Gangs of Buddies, i think we are floating between this two definition. As long as i have known you guys, i never try to even remember what you guys likes to eat, what colour you all like, where you guys turn to when you are upset, when is the exact day of your birthday, what type of songs you may prefer... many of these questions puts me to shame as a friend... but a point worth encouraging is the fact that i am a supporter of you all (most of the time)... hahaha!

All that i come to know of is:
1) We spend time together
2) We enjoy sitting down and share our lifes
3) We spend our birthday with a group of hungry men
4) We get to choose what we want for our birthday without feeling any embarrasement
5) We bare our hearts when we fall and cry
6) We care for each without overly showing it (this is typical for cheena man)
7) We only want the best for each even if it is at the expense of yourselves
8) We have someone to talk to when we are down and needs some encouragement

They say friends stay together only when times for them are good... Its only in testing times when we see the the real people coming out... The time has not come yet... If someday we do come to that point, i hope i have you guys walking beside me as we trekked together out of the dificult times... i am glad to have come through so many years with you all... you guys have been a major part of my life and for the nest few parts i hope we can still hold true this wish...

Things may changed when we all settle down, have families of our own, have work commitments, anythings that hinders this friendship may arise...

for all those that are unpredictables, we shall not ponder over now for it has yet to come,
for the past that we have walk through together, lets pick up the valuable experience and make it better
for now, let just enjoy the people around us that we call friends, a supporter, an ally, a person we like, someone we are for... Treasure the moment as friends as it may not be tomorrow... Now is the time!

Cheers! for the exams that is coming!! For the lousy work we are working on!!! Life is made a little nice with you guys around!!!

简单

小孩的世界里快乐可以很简单
我的世界里简单是件快乐的事
〖周杰伦演唱会在大荧幕上出现的字〗

Give this some thought...

How do you feel?
About this time when we all are so busy and frustrated, i believe the phase just bring about a whole new meaning...

如果可以…

手里提着两杯热咖啡，
一步一步就是回家的感觉…
速度、鲁莽、挑逗的路灯，
一个顽强的冷血机器…
我的咖啡洒满路地，
呼吸的权力竟是奢侈的回忆…
我用力求情但谁给予…

今天不会用钥匙打开熟悉的门，
熟悉得脸孔失去被复习的机会，
享受回家温暖的气息，
好像是好久以前的回忆，
后悔没急已经不能挽回撕裂的日历，
如果可以…
生命的拔河，我没了力气…
哽咽…窒息…呼……

As sad as this post may seems to be, it is really a reflection of the way we may have choosen to live the lives we hold on to. We have taken the very act of returning home safely for granted. It has become more of a suppose to happen things in our life that we have forgotten how to enjoy the very essence of returning home and enjoying the enjoyable stuffs the house may bring... Be it your pillow, your computer, your favourite blanket, your pictures, that all warm your hearts and lets be thnakful if we can go home to see them every day...

To illutrate my point even further, i made a analogy between the warmth of the house and the breath we all take!
The most taken for granted thing in life is actually the ability to be able to breath. It has been with us right smack from when we burst out of our mums' womb nad will follow till we drop death. But think about it... Have you ever been thankful about the fact that you can breath well and good? Maybe when you go swimming or have ever experience the effects of the lack of air on your body will you appreciate it well...The ability to respire is the most undermined ability that was given to us as we all push your focus towards the ability to see and touch and hear... Learn to appreciate the beauty of the breath and its in this appreciation you may find the meaning of this life you breath through...

Confucius

子曰：
知者不惑，
仁者不忧，
勇者不惧。

Dialogue

In the response to Valium lastest message, i have decided to post this letter as any good reply to the comment will be very limited by the amount of characters the tag board can take...
Valium: "a good attitude doesn't really need another catalyst to cultivate.. ourselves r good enuff to be one.." From the very contextual meaning that i derived from reading the message is this. That a good attitude is very much dependent on ourselves and only ourselves. Are you really that absolute about things? Do you want to reconsider your position? Do you mean that you need no teachers to tell you cheating is bad and you wont cheat? Or your Mum to tell you stealing is no good before you wont steal? You can know what is the right attitude without any outside influence as in this case the catalyst... Are you saying that we already know what is right from wrong the very moment that we are born to this earth?

If so you may have share Plato’s view in one of his dialogues “THE MENO”… In it, he conducted an experiment with a boy to prove to Meno that everything in the past lives are memories to be recollected. Plato believes that we all carry with us the memories of the past lives and we only have to trigger an interest before we can remember it. In this very case you may have meant that! That being, you already know how to do the seemingly upright things even as a child. (Read Meno By Plato Written 380 B.C.E Translated by Benjamin Jowett) http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/meno.html If you are reading it, please let me know so I can pin point the important extract for you… its really a long dialogue.

But as a rebuttal to the above, I would like to say that it is really very difficult for me to fathom sperms and ovaries having to combine themselves and then bring with it memories of past lives. DNA? They are genetic codes that governs the appearance and abilities of the person from the parents. They are not memories and definitely not catalyst telling people to do good or adopt the right attitude?

Have you ever heard of the Chinese phase: “当局者迷,旁观者清【dāngjúzhěmí,pángguānzhěqīng】 the spectators see the chess game better than the payers; the onlooker sees most of the game ”
Havent it been the case for us whereby we always looked back in our life and thought about how we could actually make better decisions. At the point of time, we all think we are doing the right thing and even if people tell us that we are in fact indulging in the wrongs, we persist in it. How ignorant!? Finally someday we relent, but that of course comes with a price… So you see when we are in the game, we tend to lose yourselves in it… other people will see things at a better point of view… This other people in the particular post will have to mean, Religion, friends, Mum, teachers, etc. These are the very essential catalyst that will have to be around us guiding us to lead a socially acceptable life and cultivates a socially acceptable attitude.

When these catalyst is around, then it becomes your responsibility to decide if we want it or want to escape from it… That I think is your point! We have the catalysts and I think it definitely is essential, then the rest will be up to us…

Place in YOur heart

Hey there!! This post should have actully been produced in the very early morning. Got the inspiration while having my morning bath but took me till this very moment in this sunday night to produce this... haha...the minister is singing the song <朋友> now... i must really admire his courage... hmm.. the next post will seems a little out of place with this intro. but what the heck..its my blog... So here it goes...

Throughout this many years whereby i have develop a stronger interest and a closer contact with the topic of religion, i have notice a very disturbing trend. It is not about the religion itself but more on the people revolving it. Very often with religion, we will often linked that particular religion to the actions of the person. Say if he is a pious person, and he acted in a vulgar or unruly manner, we will began to question the impact of the religion on this person. We questioned the very essence of his religion and puts doubt onto religion itself. I believed this is not right. This is unhealthy.

Cases of so called religious people behaving in the unruly manner are not just a few black sheeps. They are ominpresent, everywhere. Or ishould say "we".Why i do i think we behave differently sometimes? Why do we act out of the way the very religion taught us how to? I shall begin my defence..haha...they are just excuses for the "crimes" i commited! See if you share my thought.

When i go for the religious classes or got to 四马路 to offer 3 sticks of incense, what they give me is a very calming and relax feeling(maybe its the incense smell, but i just like those feeling of peace). I wont even think of wanting to scold an old auntie,do anything bad the very moment i step out. Those moment that i still have a place for the Gods or Religion, i will not do bad. But hey, here comes the twist!!

How about many moments later? You just cleanly forget about all the teachings and wack all the vulgar languages known to any human being or do all the unruly things deemed bad by the very religion you hold close to heart. You have forgotten to Put The God In Your Heart (“酒肉传肠过，佛祖心中留” Alan told me this once) This I believe is what Buddah wants me to hold close to. When i want to do bad, think of him and i think twice. Did i manage? not easy! Impossible? Not really! However i find it a pity when people treat this as an excuse for eating all the meat and point fingers at the vegetarian laughing at the vegans' ingnorance. We dont really intend to want to convert you! And the very meaning behind being vegetarian was more an act of compassion to all animals rather than being "noble" or "weird". Hey! Eating dogs and chicken is essentially
the same! Why do some think to eat dogs is cruel? I do not know? If you were to see the head of the chicken you are eating, try look into its eyes, bet it will paint a different picture for your hungry stomach.

Wah piang... only into the little bits already so much on the blog liao... ok...share my thoughts next time man...hey! If you wanna good meal... please dont look at the chicken hanging on the showcase of xx鸡饭
...hahaha... only spoils your appetite... Cheers..

Oh yes! forgot to explain the meaning of the 酒肉... i think they meant experiences(good or bad), wealth, name and all the tangible items we all wanna lay our hands on to feed the growing desire/ lust /greed.

Ok... it has been a long read! Go and rest!!!

咖啡厅

舒适的沙发把你和我抱的紧紧…
我们卧坐在舒适的沙发，家的味道淡淡
而幸福香味围绕你我顽皮的指尖。
眼里不断从复日记叙述的甜蜜，
咖啡厅便成俩个人特别的小小世界。
我想在俩个恋人的世界，完美无缺，
你靠著我，我靠著你，牵著彼此手心，
走完这个世纪。
爱情里没了危险区，你要是想到要去旅行，
我愿意背起行李随时出巡，扬起船帆，
看看珊瑚的美丽。
幸福也随著俩人航程的水流星，在新一张的日记，
写进<我愿意>的字迹…

爱意

我的脚趾 在沙滩上 挥了一挥
上面字迹 温暖了心 温暖了你
空中淡香 是一种幸福的回想
鸟儿轻唱 有了春天的画像
你卧在怀里和BABY一样

你呼吸的惯性被迫于
微弱的气息改变憧憬
在爱你的字迹填上个句点
在春天的画像加上冬季的寒意
你卧在怀里熟睡不在起。。。

The above gives the extremes in life that we all encounters at some times of this journey. I have always been very entrigued by the extreme contrast of things in the same time dimension. That is where in the same particular period of time, the exact opposites can results.

The above words tells a romance between 2 young couple basking in the springs of love. The first verse paints a very loving and beautiful picture that they were experiencing. However, i added a third line which i was hopping would be able to bring a hint of the things that will happen in the end.

2nd verse paints the extreme opposite of its former. Her breathe weakens, the little sentence dot ends the beautifuls words that were soken initially and Spring time has been littered with the chills of the winter cold brought through by the passing of the lady.

I would like to share these:
1) i did not put in the emotions of the guy because i would actully wants the reader to put themseleves in the shoes of the guy and feel the poinancy and extreme sadness brought about by the passsing. One could actually be in a shock and react nonchantly or even so overcome by emotions that no words cannot describe the impact of the demise.

2) The passing of the lady need not have to be seen as it is. It could be many things as well. The passing of a romance that will never come by again, the passing of dear one, the passing of an oppportunity, the passing of a gathering... All this would mean the extreme lost of "x" that may never come by again...

The thought of lossing something and never will we be able to get it back again, is really the cruelty the world bears upon us human beings. Why give us feelings if all we could feel is pain...? All however is not so bad as the loss is balance by the beauty that happened initially. The love and joy that springs brought gives reprived to the world we are constantly embeded in. The lack of expression of feelings from the guy may also be due to his expectation of what is to happen the very same moment. Or it sould be the lack of my personal experience that i was unable to related the feeling to you all. This feeling is one things i hope i never be able to expressed...

PEACE LOVE AND MORE OF THESE...

Society and World

**read from bottom up**
morgan: Dont you reside in the society that is vibrant in the world? So other than the society that builds up the world what do you think the world encompasses?
ABC: world sounds much bigger than society..
morgan: what different does it makes?
ABC: the world isn't really that bad.. it's the society..
morgan: trials and tribulations just make you feel that the world is a lousier place to live in...thats why you have to hang in there...
ABC: ha.. thks.. i'm trying.. not to think too far..
xy: Trials and tribulations will mould and make you stronger. Hang in there.
** read from here**

The above post does not try to demean anyone or try in any other way to prove that i am absolutely right. It is just the way i feel about the things and all should not be taken seriously and be broaded over. I am as ignorant as anyone just that i prefer to let known my ignorance and share my views. Below is how i feel,

society:
NOUN: 1a. The totality of social relationships among humans. b. A group of humans broadly distinguished from other groups by mutual interests, participation in characteristic relationships, shared institutions, and a common culture. c. The institutions and culture of a distinct self-perpetuating group.

World: **There are many meanings but i just extracted this to present my point**
5a. Humankind considered as social beings; human society

so is there a difference? what does the world we lived in encompasses? Aren't the things all around us the only things in our own world? or should i say in the society? It really does not matter because what we live in a society. Human society to be precise. As diverse as the cultures,race, language, religion still goes with a doubt, it is still very much a Human society.

To say that the world is more than just the human society would mean to bring in other forms of life that impact the world. Animals have a lesser role to play in the society ever since the stone age man discovered fire and they all started to end up in cookbooks. Greens, esp. trees are constantly being cut and destroyed to make way for who? Human beings...Aliens? Nasa is still venturing out to look for E.T. Gods and Ghosts are still very much beliefs and religionised ( i will not touch on it as it will take about another day and is a different topic altogether).

World, you may say is affected constantly by natural disaster which human beings are in no control over. And so the world would mean natural disasters as well. But hey! doesnt natural disasters affects human beings directly? It is still human society bearing the full brunt of the impact.

You and me, we all lived in this world. We are very much in this altogether and how big this world goes is as far as how big the socity is. Is the world bigger than the society that we resides in? I beg to differ....

默哀

我们在同样的天空下为自己的生活忙碌。
美天忙的不可开交，麻痹了神经线。
感觉就像浮萍，无法沉淀，
任涛涛不绝的工作量遂意摧碎。
明明知道累了就要歇脚，却还在每天熬夜。
悲伤的感觉此刻强烈，面对我想要的明天，
有如哑巴吃着黄连。
就怕坏东西无法被取代，明天也许还是要默哀，
每天过的生活还要期待？

Friends

第一次的遇见，感觉并不亲切。
你笑得疯颠，我装酷够炫。
同样的空间，感觉却是疏远。
朋友这词汇，我们都难以了解。

是什麽时候我们聊开了话题？
对之间意识了朋友的感觉。
对周围的小事啼笑皆非。
对789，黑白猜，十五二十，
有了很深奥哲学。
是什麽时候彼此之间，
对朋友这词汇，有了一些感觉。

向日葵的美，蝴蝶雀跃。
生命力，就像时间，好无界限。
朋友的呕心沥血，就是灿烂，就是阳艳阳天。
向日葵的笑脸，滋润麻痹了的容颜。
生命力，就像花卉，偶尔凋谢。
朋友无私的灌溉，就是氧气，就是生命指引。

Contradictions

Things seems to have been happening so extremely fast that i am still somewhat lost as the school term started... Haven't really feel the full effects of the work load yet and is lucky enough to still seems to be still able to hang around and steal a couple of moments to indulge myself in things that i really like to do... Hope this will be the case for the rest of the year. But to be in the comfort zone for such a long time is situation i dont really want to be in. Guess the next term ahead will be full of excitement and unknowns...

The unpredictabilty of life itself is intriguing and exciting but at the same time you will feel extremely vulnerable to the subject itself. Every move that we make leads us somewhere, the question here is where does it leads us to? The destination of course is something that we can at times predict but never be definite about and that itself is frustrating. So many a times we decided to just do our best and let life be! Hey hold it man! There is a problem here...
Why then do we complain about the unfairness of life? Questions like:

"how can a coffee lady strike a 2.38million lottery?"
" how can the lucky bastards be so freaking rich?"
"why ain't i in the deans' list?"
"what is such a sexy gal with the strange man?"
"Where the silver spoon in my mouth supose to be?"
"Why do i like her so much and she does not recipocrate?" never fails to crop up time and again in our minds...

Most of the time it just to let of some steam and then we will be back again running to rush the datelines and carry on with the normal routine and start to forget about all those things till the next time they crop up... The cycle goes on and on.... Can we break this cycle of thought and fully realised the very essence of existence? This is the one of those open ended questions that many people hold different views about never will there be a best answer to it...
As diverse as the question is our views about life itself , we will never ever make the best choice because it always seems that the grass is greener on the other side and may be there isnt even a best solution to all problems...

Life is fair to me because i have still my family, my gal, good friends i can truly turn to when in need and the contentment and appreciation at all the things that i am experiencing as of this moment... But if one fine day those are taken away... would i still feel this way i feel about life itself? I beg to defer...

The above is seeming a chuck of very contradicting words... But they are at least as real and as contradicting as my world that i live in... Please do share it with me...

"Others say the blogging world is for sad, deluded, self-absorbed and frustrated writers"
"...we are really happy people...wow what a beautiful world i live in" (Xiaxue)
(Sunday times 15/08/05)

I would not defend either notion... because to do justice to one is to infact commit a heinious crime on the other... Both notions are very much true and to be defensive when negative words are put forth would really shortchanged the way we all should look at the things we experience...

Letters Words Languages

The very first moments when you were born, what language do you speak?
The universal wailing of a child spreads warm, anxiety, smile and all the many many emotions that could be evoke out without that cute little one even having  to utter an eligible sound that have to make sense. We wolud then busied yourselves by trying to maybe feed milk, change diapers rock the child to sleep and just about anything to pacify the child. What is achieved?  Communication.
Communication has already been reached, barriers of communications broken and bridged, by what? Ridiculous it may seems but by the wailing of a child who speak none of the words we speak when we sees each other everyday.

What does a mum who holds the child so dear in her hands speaks?
None but the love and passion that oozes out from those calming eyes and lovely hands of a mother could bring comfort to this little child. No matter what language you speak, which part of this world you belong to, what status in this stucture society you belonged, we all speaks the same way when we "talk" to an innocent baby. What language do we speak of ?
One of love, emotions and passion without having to utter an intelligible word to the cute little emperor as Willy calls it. 
" All your troubles disappears when the baby just smiles while you are holding him takes away all my troubles... you just dont know what to say..." ( My LTA supervivor Kok Lum having his first child ) 

Communications between a baby and the world ( humans mostly ) begins by touch and feelings. Not the As, Bs and Cs that we speak and is typing out this very moment. The communication between Me and You can be just by being there for you without having to have a conversation. We may not have much to talk to our dad and mums sometimes but by just finishing the bowl of noodles or rice they have prepare or bought for us, they would already feel good about it... Thats all that matters to them...

We all experience the senarios whereby we have think of what to say to each other so as the make the situation less awkward. Sometimes the more we try to strike up a conversation we end up slapping ourselves hard in the face when we will realised that we run out of topic... I bet we all experience this type of strange feelings... Haha

Remember the lyrics of a famous chinese song  " 一切尽在不言中..."  aptly explains the essence of my postings above... Ai yah si bei tired liao... no more mood to write after muching a slice apple... i find it distrubing sometimes on why i have these thoughts... Guess my white hairs have some explaining to do.. So long guys...

Reflections

How often do we talk to yourself and reflect upon our doings? Ask yourself if what we are doing all the while is worth the effort? Question the reasons behind every actions we take? Reflect upon what upon our inadequcies and think of ways to improve?

The above questions are seemingly daunting and numerous but to sum it all up, it is actually just a simple act of reflecting upon your lifes at all times. Tedious! It may seems to have to consider so much before plunging into things but to think of it this way is to miss the point. Since it is reflections, acts would have already taken place before you do the reflections. It's already spilled milk and reflections are just ways of clearing up the mess; some may leave behind stains, some could thoroughly erased all traces of the action.

What is desired is not to paint a perfect picture but a nice enough one even if it is flawed somewhere. We all want so much to be perfect, so much so that we have forgotten to even take time off, slam the brakes and take a few steps back to ponder the meaning of things and our actions. How often have we sometimes work so hard through the night to just fall asleep the very moment we touch our beds? Rushed the reports and presentations till the dead of the night? Give so much tuitions that we numded your own senses? Worse would be to neglect those around us that is always supportive of us but without us giving them any appreciations because we have taken them for granted.

We regret not because of mistakes that cause us to fail but because of our actions that may cause others espcially our close family and friends to get hurt or neglected. If that is happening to you now maybe take a little time off to treat those around you a little better. We alone can only do so much to make someone a little happier, we cannot give them the world, we cannot be able to constantly make them happy. But for the moment that they feel a little happier because we make the difference, that would suffice. The point here is: "Did we try to make the difference?"

To rush ahead all your life may seems to be making progress and to scale the success ladder to reach the greatest heights may be perceived as advancement...But

" Progress is not defined as a few steps forward when you are already standing at the edge of the cliff..." From a book.

Take a few steps back now and reflect the things thus far...you may find a different route or want to scale a different mountain or even jump off the cliff (hahaha!! that means no hope liao)... But the critical thing is
"Reflections of the past would chart the way to a different future..." Good or bad future i personnally do not dare speculate... Let's just hope it good... even if its bad, at least someone share the joy you shared!!

Life at its End...

Fruits of labour? I had this funny thought a few days back when i was having a test.

I was thinking about how difficult it was to have to study so much and memorised the huge chunk of seemingly endless lines and lines of words/sentences. It took me a weeks to actually remember those rules, objectives etc. Finally, i went into the examination hall and was out in like a couple of minutes. I pass it easily without much difficulty at all. Of course i felt relieved at finally being able to give up the scrolls of scripts that i had hold on so dearly to weeks before.

But then i thought again...That is it? Everything just seems to end in a flash... it seems that whatever little effort put in the study of the test ended in the blink of the eye. Did i really cherished that particular moment of relieved (fruits of labour) which was particularly shortlived? Then it dawn on me...
All this while that i was trying to memorised those lines of texts, i had gather at each particular moment a little triumphant story. Why do i say that... whenever i grasp a particular concept or even ideas or remember a particular quote correctly, i gain a certain kind of relief. By the time i m able to finish all hat i have to study, what i gain is more than the contectual meaning of the text, but also the many little reliefs that i derived from trying to understand them. This little reliefs maybe insignificant in itself but the way they add up never fails to make us pass your tests... True? I do not know of course! BUt at the moment whereby i m typing this, it seems logical.

That Maybe the reason why some people would say, "Try to enjoy the process of your work..."

Alright now back to the topic. "Life at its end"
Now lets look at the bigger picture...We apply the same thought above to LIFE...

First we study damn hard to get a good degree/Diploma...
Fruits of labour? Where do i find it?
Then maybe we get a stable job, earn an income. pay for house, pay for my car...
Fruits of labour? How can i get it?
I get a wife, have kids...
Fruits of labour? Where is it?
This list just goes on and on... The question is, What is the fruits of your labour at the end of this journey we all embark on?

Hi! This would be my number 3 post. For the past many days i pondered upon what to share with you guys. It seems that i have so many things in my head but to express them in words, i failed very badly. What i have convinced myself to believe in and for me to want to share it with you is no easy task; for i believe understanding comes from your own ability to be able to convince yourself rather than someone telling you...What i could share is only my insights towards life, religion, philosophy and all these belongs to ME...Can never be yours! For it to be yours, you will have to experience things or develop own school of thought...

"Insights cannot be taught or learned, but the consiousness that gives rise to insights can be developed. Trying to teach insight without transforming conciousness is like tying to create apples without growing the apples trees" (Robert Kegan)

Therefore, whatever that we share on this blog will be one way to give rise to the benign conciousness we all have neglected. I hope we all gain insights to this life,(which gave us so much problems),but we still always hold on to so dear...Ha! The irony of life isn't it?

A little story...

We all had the bad experience of feeling damn low at some point or other in our life.... It may be caused the passing of someone dear and close to heart, a break-up, stresses built up from trying to make a living or even trying to find out what worth is a minute you on this huge planet you try very hard to call your home but at the same instance feels a total stranger in this land where you constantly look for or lost your way out of this life...

Today I told my friends a story i thought was rather lame but found it to be extremely true as i am typing my thoughts down...
Have we at sometimes during our childhood fell down in front of many people or did some embarassing things and then got caught and cried damn hard till no one really took pity of us? If yes,read on... If not, nothing below will interest you...

The story goes like this....
A family outing to the beach was organised by the father and everyone in the family(mum, elder sister and a little boy) put on themselves the best beach wear they had and anticipated a beautiful evening... The Tan family after having park their car strolled towards the beach. The roads weren't exactly smooth and was in fact very bumpy...
The little boy had some trouble trying to overcome the obstaclelying along the way and the huge crowds gathered to enjoy the beautiful brezze... In trying to step over a small jutting tree root, he fell faced down onto the ground into a muddy patch... All eyes zeroed onto this poor little guy who was so much embarassement rather then pain that he cried and cried and cried...The family rushes to his aid and tries to help him up but the stubborn little boy just refuses to get up... He had rather stayed in that position than stand up to let the crowd see his face... Seconds and minutes passed by...he grew tired of trying to hide and stood up... No longer does he worry about falling again cause he know already how to get up and it doesn't really matter cause he is already so dirty anyway... He could no longer be bother with the crowd who was watching them moments ago which has since dwindled... He never need all those who was ny his side then to help him stand up again... He learn all that by himself that very day he first fell....

" Time will not heal your wounds, it will only make you get use to the pain and helps you live with it " ( Jacky Wu )

When was the last time you did something for the first time...
Provoked some thoughts when i saw the advert the other time round...
But didn't tiggered me to start the blog page though...
Valium started it so i guess why not share a connection or a moment or 2 in cyberspace with those i was never fated to meet face to face....