2013 12月16

Kallang station.
It always seems easier to shoot a horror movie than a heart warming one. On my train ride to work, i was thinking about making my own clip once again. I still remembered a short clip i made for my wedding, it was not the greatest clip but it was fun making it. Putting the ideas into actions and then watch yourself on the screen. Embarassing. 
I have got many sick thoughts about making sick horror movies. But as for the heart warming ones, not so much. I do not think i am a pervert. Heartwarming films are tough. It is too hard to create suspense or the mood. It takes a lot more in the plot to generate the feeling of closeness to the character. You have to let the audience feel close to the character and then slowly introduce the audience into a simple and yet touching act or senarios. If you rush into it, the scene would feel cheesy immmediately. Horror and suspense are easy. There is simply no reason for any sensible plot. If you kill, you kill. If you die, you die. Any reason for your death or intentions can all be attributed to the illogical mental disturbances.
And so, i am lost yet again about making another project. Or rather, i lack a camera to do it. If only Santa was real.

My Little One

3rd Dec 2013. Tuesday.
This is a snap shot of my little one. Took us a rather long time to get it done. Sandy had to visit the toilet quite a few times in the hope of waking the foetus up such that it would change it's position for some measurements to be taken for the down syndrome test.
The days leading up to the test were fairly normal but they were always dotted by the incessant, disturbing thought of the "what if's". Now that things have cleared, it sets the mind easy at least for a while.
The feeling of becoming a dad seems rather muted after the initial euphoria. I still remember the day when i received the whatsapp message from my wife. It's special. Just different from all the good news i have received til this point in my life. I am just thankful for this gift and the chance to experience a different phase of my life. 

Many changes are going to happen in 2014. I pray that things will work out fine. 

丈夫有泪不轻弹

登高欲穷千里目，愁云低锁衡阳路。

鱼书不至雁无凭，几番空作悲秋赋。

回首西山月又斜，天涯孤客真难度。

丈夫有泪不轻弹，只因未到伤心处。出自：明·李开先《宝剑记·夜奔》

Scaling the heights in hopes of getting a better view of a distant friend, the roads to Hen Yang (衡阳) filled with sorrow.

There has been no letters or signs of winged messengers, tried to write sorrowful verses in this melancholic autumn. 

Turned around to look at the West Mountain (西山) and the night has drawn near, it must be hard for this world of lonely strangers.

Men do cry. Only when the deepest realms of his heart is touched.

 

你能感受吗？Can you feel it?

“路好像走了好远好远，感觉怎么还在原地踏步。”

The only probable thing that could actually ignite my desire to write in this blog again after a year and some is BOREDOM. After finishing what you set out to do, you probably have maybe 23hours of FREE time. It is long enough for people to feel like they are living in an old folks home. The mornings are spent staring at each other at the breakfast table, afternoons maybe some movies, games and the evenings some exercises or if you are rich or adventurous enough, to travel out to the towns and city for a good meal.

It has only been one week and i am slowly hearing the same topics mooted over the canteen tables. Not that i can hold a conversation fantastically well, but i probably would not repeat the same things to people unless they have a strong desire to hear it from me.

“人因梦想而伟大， 也因梦想而颓废吧？”

I do not have the great desire to take to the skies. Flying has never been my dream. I wanted to be a policeman. Being a law enforcer dream somewhat got twisted. I cannot imagine myself standing guard at national parades, checking out mangled bodies, but disturbing the young punks would probably be fun thing to do.

Life has so many twist and turns. one moment you are in air traffic control and the next you are training to be an airline pilot. Thinking back, it is probably air traffic control that left me with little choice but to set forth on this long and arduous path. This air traffic control shit really did screw up my life man! Nonetheless, i had some of the most fun years of my life in the control environment. The people that i met and bonded with in the environment were great, some weird but mostly nice people.

And here i am writing my first post since the December of 2010. I am afraid that more would come because BOREDOM here is challenging my every minute.

For whoever still visits, thank you!

You must have been as bored as me.

I wish for you to have something to do soon!

Room 19 Jandakot

Numb

Run. I forced me tired legs to inch forward for the umpteenth time.
6km. 31min 20seconds. 427 calories.
Numbers do not means much when you struggle through to finish the run. I was quite focused on achieving the target 8 km but now, numbness. Each step seems a little further from the end. Why not closer? Because i could stop anytime soon to walk home and be a little later home.

I did not give up and finished my run. I thought about how similar work is to running. You work and work, you start feeling fatigue but still you continue. The only relief you probably feel is when you gave up. All your senses get heighten and you start to feel right about things once again.

Sometimes giving up allows for more to be gain. The slower you go, the more sights you take in.