It's Quiet

I have started out on my shift duties at the Changi towers. Working shifts make me feel very alone. It is like living in the world of my own and even as i am typing this all my friends are all slogging their hearts out at work while i am on my off. There is no one to play with me and that quietness is not something i can get use to yet. I miss my dosage of sunday soccer and the gathering of friends for drinks. These would break the awkward silence in my world and i can be comforted for a while. I am not depressed but i just feel alone in a busy world...

台北

清晨６：５３分

天开始亮了　心也静下来了

音乐放了“我真的受伤了”

我静静的想起你了

想起离别时的你声音怎么哽咽了

他们都说九年的感情一定冷淡了

但我怎么又再想念你了

想念在飞往台北前夕　每一分

他们都说没斗过嘴就没法了解自己

但我怎么都没有忘了

爱你曾经是那么的不容易

真的不容易所以让我十分珍惜

两个人的包容让爱情有了解　

也让此刻的想念变的强烈

我的心真的想念了

天开始亮了　

心也静下来了 音乐也低声了

相片

累了嗎…
翻來覆去，
睡意卻忘了我的氣息。
已習慣有了寂寞坐陪﹐
在夜裡思念恥笑我的可憐。
背井離鄉盡是如此的讓我思念﹐
思念在這冰冷的房間。
口袋裡的陳舊相片﹐
我望着你﹐已模糊的臉。
你是否還留在原地
把愛停留在瞬間讓我追尋。
還是被嫁給了世界﹐
聘禮竟是所有黃昏的傷悲。
記憶還是屬于過去﹐
未來不會有你我一起走過的足跡。

Trade

We all are really nice people. We are nice to our family, friends, maybe colleagues. The motivation for being nice stretches from genuine affection to play acting. The challenge is to distinguish fact from fiction. This is, however, the toughest job due to anyone who has fallen prey to the needle now stuck at the back of ass. We have all suffered some kind of a betrayal in our lives. When we have been betrayed and your pride abused, the abuser becomes the focus of our hatred. This i feel is unfair to the abuser!! Not that i am a abuser of faith placed on me by my friends but rather my feelings are more swayed by the fact that we are all selfish creatures.

Why are we good to who we want to be good to? There have to be a reason... And that reason stems from the fact that we can derived something out of them.
From family: Support and love
From friends: Help and understanding and fun
From colleauges: Co-operation and a easier climb to the top
It seems a little cruel or even devoid of feelings to measure the affection shown by friends and family as some kind of a trade. But spare it some thoughts please... If your dad has never shown you any kind of love in the past, as when you were a child, you would have not repaid him in most comforting ways. If, from your friends you cannot derived understanding, fun or a little help once in a while, would you consider them as friends? If, from your colleauges co-operations is not derived, most probably you have won yourself an enemy...

We have all treated in some way the relationships we have with others as some kind of a trade... Scary a thought isn't it? hahaha... And for those who wants to use EXCEPTIONS to combat the above thoughts, i would like to remind them that those are exceptions and the above is REAL.
My only encouragement would be for all to be the exceptions to the thoughts above...

FOG

Creating some posts for the sake of creating them takes much pain and awkwardness. Here i am indulging in the feels of them with the song "COLD" by Matchbox 20 playing in the background. A damn lousy song which i had chosen to spoil my sureal morning... Shit! I hate it!
My life had been full of choices and to decide upon the routes to take made me realised that i had to contend and then lived with the decisions i made. A bad song that spoils my morning would be one of such unsuspected outcomes i am already living with. Minor it may seems, but the logic applies to the bigger things of my life; just that the analogy is simpler here.

I am trying to find the right words to type into the blog and finding only this sentence which happens to be the one that i most often used. Much of my blog pieces do really start with not knowing what to type and then finally writing huge chunks of idealistically unpractical blogs. If i really have nothing to write, the blog piece should just end in NO words! It should not even have anything on! The blog should not even have started. Irony... I guess we creatures are confused beings trying to find our way in these thick fog of whispering forrests. At least for me, i am confused but i still manages to lie through my teeth everytime i say i got nothing to blog about and then come up with something... Amazing!

In recent times i have discovered the stubborness in my nature. Stubborness in beliefs rather than in character. Yes! i believe they are different if your next question is "what's the diff?". I am an easying going guy and willng to try and follow the things my friends suggests or do even if i have some reluctance to. That stubborness in character i do not have. However, the stubborness of beliefs is really strong in me. This has become a weakness that i have recently found covered in a layer of thick crismson blood beneath my heart. i have always hold true to my own ideas about religious beliefs and love to challenge the fundamental ideas of them. I find myself losing the gound every time. Reason? I do not have the arsenal of knowledge to combat them. If some day i really do have the weapon of mass destruction to overcome them, i would already have been with them and be with their cause. Ha! Amazing yah? My stubborn beliefs had blinded me against the words of others. I was like a glass full of red wine unwilling to be filled at all. We all know that to learn we have to be like an empty glass, but how many of you guys due to the stubborness in your beliefs have refused to even allow the occurance for the chance to test and accept other beliefs and thoughts? That stubborness in my own beliefs narrowed the way i view my way of life a.k.a my religion, my behaviours and actions. I am glad that i have finally come out of such a fog and my whispering forest becomes clear once more...

"If you do not finish the post or feel in anyway that this post is rubbish... the stubborness in your beliefs would have fog up my whispering forests.." Morgan