Friends

第一次的遇见，感觉并不亲切。
你笑得疯颠，我装酷够炫。
同样的空间，感觉却是疏远。
朋友这词汇，我们都难以了解。

是什麽时候我们聊开了话题？
对之间意识了朋友的感觉。
对周围的小事啼笑皆非。
对789，黑白猜，十五二十，
有了很深奥哲学。
是什麽时候彼此之间，
对朋友这词汇，有了一些感觉。

向日葵的美，蝴蝶雀跃。
生命力，就像时间，好无界限。
朋友的呕心沥血，就是灿烂，就是阳艳阳天。
向日葵的笑脸，滋润麻痹了的容颜。
生命力，就像花卉，偶尔凋谢。
朋友无私的灌溉，就是氧气，就是生命指引。

Contradictions

Things seems to have been happening so extremely fast that i am still somewhat lost as the school term started... Haven't really feel the full effects of the work load yet and is lucky enough to still seems to be still able to hang around and steal a couple of moments to indulge myself in things that i really like to do... Hope this will be the case for the rest of the year. But to be in the comfort zone for such a long time is situation i dont really want to be in. Guess the next term ahead will be full of excitement and unknowns...

The unpredictabilty of life itself is intriguing and exciting but at the same time you will feel extremely vulnerable to the subject itself. Every move that we make leads us somewhere, the question here is where does it leads us to? The destination of course is something that we can at times predict but never be definite about and that itself is frustrating. So many a times we decided to just do our best and let life be! Hey hold it man! There is a problem here...
Why then do we complain about the unfairness of life? Questions like:

"how can a coffee lady strike a 2.38million lottery?"
" how can the lucky bastards be so freaking rich?"
"why ain't i in the deans' list?"
"what is such a sexy gal with the strange man?"
"Where the silver spoon in my mouth supose to be?"
"Why do i like her so much and she does not recipocrate?" never fails to crop up time and again in our minds...

Most of the time it just to let of some steam and then we will be back again running to rush the datelines and carry on with the normal routine and start to forget about all those things till the next time they crop up... The cycle goes on and on.... Can we break this cycle of thought and fully realised the very essence of existence? This is the one of those open ended questions that many people hold different views about never will there be a best answer to it...
As diverse as the question is our views about life itself , we will never ever make the best choice because it always seems that the grass is greener on the other side and may be there isnt even a best solution to all problems...

Life is fair to me because i have still my family, my gal, good friends i can truly turn to when in need and the contentment and appreciation at all the things that i am experiencing as of this moment... But if one fine day those are taken away... would i still feel this way i feel about life itself? I beg to defer...

The above is seeming a chuck of very contradicting words... But they are at least as real and as contradicting as my world that i live in... Please do share it with me...

"Others say the blogging world is for sad, deluded, self-absorbed and frustrated writers"
"...we are really happy people...wow what a beautiful world i live in" (Xiaxue)
(Sunday times 15/08/05)

I would not defend either notion... because to do justice to one is to infact commit a heinious crime on the other... Both notions are very much true and to be defensive when negative words are put forth would really shortchanged the way we all should look at the things we experience...

Letters Words Languages

The very first moments when you were born, what language do you speak?
The universal wailing of a child spreads warm, anxiety, smile and all the many many emotions that could be evoke out without that cute little one even having  to utter an eligible sound that have to make sense. We wolud then busied yourselves by trying to maybe feed milk, change diapers rock the child to sleep and just about anything to pacify the child. What is achieved?  Communication.
Communication has already been reached, barriers of communications broken and bridged, by what? Ridiculous it may seems but by the wailing of a child who speak none of the words we speak when we sees each other everyday.

What does a mum who holds the child so dear in her hands speaks?
None but the love and passion that oozes out from those calming eyes and lovely hands of a mother could bring comfort to this little child. No matter what language you speak, which part of this world you belong to, what status in this stucture society you belonged, we all speaks the same way when we "talk" to an innocent baby. What language do we speak of ?
One of love, emotions and passion without having to utter an intelligible word to the cute little emperor as Willy calls it. 
" All your troubles disappears when the baby just smiles while you are holding him takes away all my troubles... you just dont know what to say..." ( My LTA supervivor Kok Lum having his first child ) 

Communications between a baby and the world ( humans mostly ) begins by touch and feelings. Not the As, Bs and Cs that we speak and is typing out this very moment. The communication between Me and You can be just by being there for you without having to have a conversation. We may not have much to talk to our dad and mums sometimes but by just finishing the bowl of noodles or rice they have prepare or bought for us, they would already feel good about it... Thats all that matters to them...

We all experience the senarios whereby we have think of what to say to each other so as the make the situation less awkward. Sometimes the more we try to strike up a conversation we end up slapping ourselves hard in the face when we will realised that we run out of topic... I bet we all experience this type of strange feelings... Haha

Remember the lyrics of a famous chinese song  " 一切尽在不言中..."  aptly explains the essence of my postings above... Ai yah si bei tired liao... no more mood to write after muching a slice apple... i find it distrubing sometimes on why i have these thoughts... Guess my white hairs have some explaining to do.. So long guys...

Reflections

How often do we talk to yourself and reflect upon our doings? Ask yourself if what we are doing all the while is worth the effort? Question the reasons behind every actions we take? Reflect upon what upon our inadequcies and think of ways to improve?

The above questions are seemingly daunting and numerous but to sum it all up, it is actually just a simple act of reflecting upon your lifes at all times. Tedious! It may seems to have to consider so much before plunging into things but to think of it this way is to miss the point. Since it is reflections, acts would have already taken place before you do the reflections. It's already spilled milk and reflections are just ways of clearing up the mess; some may leave behind stains, some could thoroughly erased all traces of the action.

What is desired is not to paint a perfect picture but a nice enough one even if it is flawed somewhere. We all want so much to be perfect, so much so that we have forgotten to even take time off, slam the brakes and take a few steps back to ponder the meaning of things and our actions. How often have we sometimes work so hard through the night to just fall asleep the very moment we touch our beds? Rushed the reports and presentations till the dead of the night? Give so much tuitions that we numded your own senses? Worse would be to neglect those around us that is always supportive of us but without us giving them any appreciations because we have taken them for granted.

We regret not because of mistakes that cause us to fail but because of our actions that may cause others espcially our close family and friends to get hurt or neglected. If that is happening to you now maybe take a little time off to treat those around you a little better. We alone can only do so much to make someone a little happier, we cannot give them the world, we cannot be able to constantly make them happy. But for the moment that they feel a little happier because we make the difference, that would suffice. The point here is: "Did we try to make the difference?"

To rush ahead all your life may seems to be making progress and to scale the success ladder to reach the greatest heights may be perceived as advancement...But

" Progress is not defined as a few steps forward when you are already standing at the edge of the cliff..." From a book.

Take a few steps back now and reflect the things thus far...you may find a different route or want to scale a different mountain or even jump off the cliff (hahaha!! that means no hope liao)... But the critical thing is
"Reflections of the past would chart the way to a different future..." Good or bad future i personnally do not dare speculate... Let's just hope it good... even if its bad, at least someone share the joy you shared!!

Life at its End...

Fruits of labour? I had this funny thought a few days back when i was having a test.

I was thinking about how difficult it was to have to study so much and memorised the huge chunk of seemingly endless lines and lines of words/sentences. It took me a weeks to actually remember those rules, objectives etc. Finally, i went into the examination hall and was out in like a couple of minutes. I pass it easily without much difficulty at all. Of course i felt relieved at finally being able to give up the scrolls of scripts that i had hold on so dearly to weeks before.

But then i thought again...That is it? Everything just seems to end in a flash... it seems that whatever little effort put in the study of the test ended in the blink of the eye. Did i really cherished that particular moment of relieved (fruits of labour) which was particularly shortlived? Then it dawn on me...
All this while that i was trying to memorised those lines of texts, i had gather at each particular moment a little triumphant story. Why do i say that... whenever i grasp a particular concept or even ideas or remember a particular quote correctly, i gain a certain kind of relief. By the time i m able to finish all hat i have to study, what i gain is more than the contectual meaning of the text, but also the many little reliefs that i derived from trying to understand them. This little reliefs maybe insignificant in itself but the way they add up never fails to make us pass your tests... True? I do not know of course! BUt at the moment whereby i m typing this, it seems logical.

That Maybe the reason why some people would say, "Try to enjoy the process of your work..."

Alright now back to the topic. "Life at its end"
Now lets look at the bigger picture...We apply the same thought above to LIFE...

First we study damn hard to get a good degree/Diploma...
Fruits of labour? Where do i find it?
Then maybe we get a stable job, earn an income. pay for house, pay for my car...
Fruits of labour? How can i get it?
I get a wife, have kids...
Fruits of labour? Where is it?
This list just goes on and on... The question is, What is the fruits of your labour at the end of this journey we all embark on?