November Love

It rains again this morning. It has been like this for the past few mornings. I looked out of my room to the busy street across the road, leaves were all over the pavements. The puddles of water on the grass patches beside those pavements shivering with ripples had the dizzles raining upon them. The cars in the car park are few and far between, the only silver one park just below had a red car plate on it. It does not go out till it is weekends or after 7pm. Why do i feel the same as "IT"? Today is a week day, yet another day when i can wonder my life away when others rush busily to work. How lucky i feel... Hey i do have to work today, but it is going to be at 2pm. I started to have the feelings i developed during the days of National Service. The unwanting feeling to move to take the hour long travel, maybe for all jobs that i may have to undertake would made me feel this way but i dont like these feelings. They suffocate me. The desire to succeed is strong but the ability may be lacking. I ask myself questions everyday. These are really tough questions i have no solutions, no answers to. When i cannot find the answers i desire, i dream. I dream about travelling, playing music, doing things that will take me off these thirsty questions wanting a solution. Life shouldn't be difficult. Things should be kept simple and easy. We all complicate our lifes. Complicate it with the desires that drive us, complicate it with the way we would be perceive by others, complicate it with failure, complicate with the music that drive us nuts every night we go to "rest". We no longer rest well enough when you are lying on the bed ridden with the needles of problems the would faced you right smack in the eyes when you open the very eyes you closed to "rest".

Things should be simpler. Things should be easier. I no longer desire the money that comes along with complications. Subtle things hurts us most since we never know how it will hurt us and to guard against them are futile efforts for we do not even know what they are. Lay your hearts out and do what is possible and able to yourself. Failure is always an option. Its another way out, out of the complications causing us much distress. You win the many sweet dreams that comes along after dusk. Failure is a lack at the ability to do something, not all things, so take heart at this. Know what you do best and the mist of complications clear the air around.