Do Not Call Registry

The DNC registry did an about turn after promising that we would no longer received marketing sms if we were to register. They have exempted marketers with" ongoing relationship" with consumers to continue sending these sms.
F***ed up. News came up yesterday amd today i start receving messages from gain city after a quiet period since i registered with them.
It is stupid to sell something and then smack you in the face with another. The exemption is really futile with broadly defined definitions and is surely going to bring the situation back to square one.
So now we have a new registry that does basically nothing more than what was already in existence.
真是脱裤放屁。

2013 12月16

Kallang station.
It always seems easier to shoot a horror movie than a heart warming one. On my train ride to work, i was thinking about making my own clip once again. I still remembered a short clip i made for my wedding, it was not the greatest clip but it was fun making it. Putting the ideas into actions and then watch yourself on the screen. Embarassing. 
I have got many sick thoughts about making sick horror movies. But as for the heart warming ones, not so much. I do not think i am a pervert. Heartwarming films are tough. It is too hard to create suspense or the mood. It takes a lot more in the plot to generate the feeling of closeness to the character. You have to let the audience feel close to the character and then slowly introduce the audience into a simple and yet touching act or senarios. If you rush into it, the scene would feel cheesy immmediately. Horror and suspense are easy. There is simply no reason for any sensible plot. If you kill, you kill. If you die, you die. Any reason for your death or intentions can all be attributed to the illogical mental disturbances.
And so, i am lost yet again about making another project. Or rather, i lack a camera to do it. If only Santa was real.

My Little One

3rd Dec 2013. Tuesday.
This is a snap shot of my little one. Took us a rather long time to get it done. Sandy had to visit the toilet quite a few times in the hope of waking the foetus up such that it would change it's position for some measurements to be taken for the down syndrome test.
The days leading up to the test were fairly normal but they were always dotted by the incessant, disturbing thought of the "what if's". Now that things have cleared, it sets the mind easy at least for a while.
The feeling of becoming a dad seems rather muted after the initial euphoria. I still remember the day when i received the whatsapp message from my wife. It's special. Just different from all the good news i have received til this point in my life. I am just thankful for this gift and the chance to experience a different phase of my life. 

Many changes are going to happen in 2014. I pray that things will work out fine. 

丈夫有泪不轻弹

登高欲穷千里目，愁云低锁衡阳路。

鱼书不至雁无凭，几番空作悲秋赋。

回首西山月又斜，天涯孤客真难度。

丈夫有泪不轻弹，只因未到伤心处。出自：明·李开先《宝剑记·夜奔》

Scaling the heights in hopes of getting a better view of a distant friend, the roads to Hen Yang (衡阳) filled with sorrow.

There has been no letters or signs of winged messengers, tried to write sorrowful verses in this melancholic autumn. 

Turned around to look at the West Mountain (西山) and the night has drawn near, it must be hard for this world of lonely strangers.

Men do cry. Only when the deepest realms of his heart is touched.

 

你能感受吗？Can you feel it?

“路好像走了好远好远，感觉怎么还在原地踏步。”

The only probable thing that could actually ignite my desire to write in this blog again after a year and some is BOREDOM. After finishing what you set out to do, you probably have maybe 23hours of FREE time. It is long enough for people to feel like they are living in an old folks home. The mornings are spent staring at each other at the breakfast table, afternoons maybe some movies, games and the evenings some exercises or if you are rich or adventurous enough, to travel out to the towns and city for a good meal.

It has only been one week and i am slowly hearing the same topics mooted over the canteen tables. Not that i can hold a conversation fantastically well, but i probably would not repeat the same things to people unless they have a strong desire to hear it from me.

“人因梦想而伟大， 也因梦想而颓废吧？”

I do not have the great desire to take to the skies. Flying has never been my dream. I wanted to be a policeman. Being a law enforcer dream somewhat got twisted. I cannot imagine myself standing guard at national parades, checking out mangled bodies, but disturbing the young punks would probably be fun thing to do.

Life has so many twist and turns. one moment you are in air traffic control and the next you are training to be an airline pilot. Thinking back, it is probably air traffic control that left me with little choice but to set forth on this long and arduous path. This air traffic control shit really did screw up my life man! Nonetheless, i had some of the most fun years of my life in the control environment. The people that i met and bonded with in the environment were great, some weird but mostly nice people.

And here i am writing my first post since the December of 2010. I am afraid that more would come because BOREDOM here is challenging my every minute.

For whoever still visits, thank you!

You must have been as bored as me.

I wish for you to have something to do soon!

Room 19 Jandakot

Numb

Run. I forced me tired legs to inch forward for the umpteenth time.
6km. 31min 20seconds. 427 calories.
Numbers do not means much when you struggle through to finish the run. I was quite focused on achieving the target 8 km but now, numbness. Each step seems a little further from the end. Why not closer? Because i could stop anytime soon to walk home and be a little later home.

I did not give up and finished my run. I thought about how similar work is to running. You work and work, you start feeling fatigue but still you continue. The only relief you probably feel is when you gave up. All your senses get heighten and you start to feel right about things once again.

Sometimes giving up allows for more to be gain. The slower you go, the more sights you take in.

Chance

It is with great regret as i type out this post. I came to know about the passing of a friend. A friend, albeit a distant friend but nonetheless who had at some time of our lives shared common ideals and dreams. One of whom, the passing of, would seem so unlikely, especially at the prime of his life, it was almost unbelievable. I stared in space upon the realisation of it.
Such is the fragility of life and the impermanence of things, that of which, is cruel, but true and none of either you or me can pry through their evil clutches. As i lament upon his passing, i reflected upon my miserable life and strangely found it worthwhile. For i still had what he would have wanted but could no longer ask for more. Chance. That one f***king last chance that god took it away without batting his f***king eyelid.
I find it hard to end this post...

Blogging on iphone 4

My first time using the iphone4 to blog. Will it revive that inner desire to write?

Housework

It never fail to amuse me when missus does the housework... It seems that doing the housework allows her to have the authority to get back at me. Every little movement that i made in the house seems to incur her wrath. I sometimes wonder if she feels bad at her outburst. It is always in incremental and minute movements that i manage around the house when she is at work; to cause her less distress and concern to see me relaxing. However, that does not mean i don't help out around the house often. In fact, i do! Just that today, after my soccer game, i have got to go work to ensure safe and expeditious flow of traffic in Changi airport. So i bath and rested to be ready for work in an hour's time. Missus became a little agitated by the fact that me bathing without asking her or stepping into the EXTREMELY clean room without her permission has broken her authority. Timid as i am, i ask permission to lie on the bed with the laptop and type this passage.

"I m a christian, I don't lie"

Today i had a soccer game and what one of my buddy said greatly affected me.

"I am a Christian, I don't lie." Rather simple yet powerful words spinning along many implications and many meanings behind it.

I was rather angry at what he said over a seeming trivial matter like whether the ball hit the crossbar or the other metals parts of the goal post that would have rendered the ball to be out of bounds. So i said in a jest, "Nope, it's the crossbar." He insisted that the ball was out of bounds, of which i denied again. Then out came the famous words. "I am a Christian, I don't lie."

By saying that, do u mean that i lied, for the sake of a simple leisurely Sunday game of soccer?

I have got nothing against him or his faith but i felt that by saying what he did he has put me in a lower pedestal of moral values. That i lied so that i can have a simple ball thrown in from the corner of the court. I felt that he has put me down and insulted me and he has because of this incident a high moral authority over me because "I am a Christian, I dun lie!". That because i am not one, i would not be fit to be view in the same manner and be judged by others in the same fashion as he would have to be because he is always up there, regardless; he is a christian, he does not lie.

We all do have prejudices against people. Whether it is in the form of religion, colour of the skin, foreign talents but we have to be a little more aware that anything that makes you feel that you are up there higher in the moral values and standing than other people makes you carry a very heavy burden. A burden so big that it is so hard to "I dun lie!" at all. You dun lie? At all?

That is a very heavy burden to undertake and if that is your wish i fully respect that but i hope you would see things in a lighter light and do lie once in a while, maybe to get you out of trouble and get you the extra day off you need by going to see the doctor.

This incident affected me quite a little that i had to log it down in my almost untouched blog for me to keep a account and as a guidance to myself that, "I am not a Christian, i did not lie in that instance too." You and me both know no answers but judging by the reactions of the people around the ball, no one remarked that it hit other metals poles. I may have lied many instances in my life to get MCs for the extra day off, to tell people they are not fat, their house in really very nice, the bride is very beautiful, many many others more. I am a liar BUT i dun think you are in any way a much better person or worse person than me in anyway. I thought we were always equal till i heard, "I am a Christian, I don't lie"

乐

你想要我完成，但我没办法感觉快了

那讽刺的话，我无言已对

冷言冷语，有是何必

你觉得的简单是我极度的绊脚石

我过不了我的围墙

不要让我满脸鼻灰

我要你也快乐，但我不想自己十分不快乐

Friends

Bintan trip ended. One of the few pictures that had all of us in it, though our faces cannot be identified, i believe that by looking at the mid-rift area, identification of a few should not be too difficult a task. Endless games of energy draining soccer and constant exposure to the relentless UV rays resulted in the tanned muscular bodies stricken with bruises and injuries. The toughness has even resulted in paranoidal attacks on YY. "Have you charged the buggy?"

Years have passed but we guys still managed to stick it together and be part of each other lives. We had knew one other since the tender age of 13, some knew others better than the others but we all in our own way keep the bond together. It is by no means a easy task. The trip organised by YY was fantastic and the next shall be set in motion with Ah Na as the OIC.

People do not understand why we guys keep the group as original as it is. To the extent that we exclude the wives and girlfriends. Outsiders do not understand. For me there is only one reason.

"Gals are too complicated for a simple group of men who grew up together as children and wants nothing more out of life other than that of completing and be part of the lives of his true friends around him"

My Wedding Prelude Video

Looking Back

I looked back at some past postings on the blog and is quite shock to see that some of them are actually quite good! haha... It is sometimes hard to believe that you are actually capable of writing things that you yourself do not even think that you can achieve. Maybe in life we lived that way too...

A short post to get my morning started because i damn bo liao... Its a lonely lonely time again when every one works except me... I hate it and hope it can end soon... Pray hard...

钻

This is for a friend who fell out of love. Hope that he will be come out of it soon.

钻

放弃就放弃 没能给我时间 了解你那横了的心
两个月的平息 是我蹂躏战火的宣言 你却忍心
天开始晕旋 没能给我气息 撕裂了淋湿强忍的平静

泪累了 模糊了 看不到没你 会没事 会没泪 没战争
爱情的拔河 赢了有如何
伤人那刻 落魄散落 滋润莫名被遗弃的勇气

你那坚韧如钻的表面 亮丽却空了心
完美曲线 隐瞒不完美的自己
我愿意 你却放弃 没能给我时间 了解你那横了的心

这段感情被过去淹没 你沉默让我脆弱
也让我学习认识自我
你的围墙 留给你自己孤单的守候
我不会再城门看守和等后

Free people

Wow!! Almost 3 months of no blogging! Seems to have slack off a lot man...

Dun really have much wish these days to log into blogging world and put in my 2 cents worth about my views on life; as if they matter. In fact, i really think that it does not really matter to anybody. We all go about everyday doing the same old shit often without regards to the people around us except to our close ones. What other people do with their lives that would directly or indirectly affect me, i have no control. They could not even care less! Why should they? What i propose or put forth cannot change the world and it should not because the world we reside in is a "free world".

The expression of views and the actions as a result of those views are personal, individual, unique and should be respected. For that, i respect those outcasts of the society that falls out of the normacy of the world that we live in. They have the courage that we do not have. The courage to be different without regards to the societal norms. They faced the greater challenges than us for being different but yet we shoo them off, insults them and talk behind their backs. What are we to judge people for who they are and how they want to live their lives? What are we? We are just people, who for the sake of god knows what, living in a "free world", bounded by the limits of normacy placed upon us by "free people" who lives among us and constantly agrees with what we do for a living. I hate that!

But still, I am a "free person".

When Religion Becomes Evil

The title to the post strikes each of us differently. We judge and see things in opposition rather than in relation to us. To each of the different person reading the title, it is always the existence of other religions that resulted in the chaos and the "evility" of the world. As i flip my book that carries this title on the Mrt and in buses, i fear the mental repercussions in the mind of the multi-faceted people that come across this title. The sensitivity of the subject on Religion and the complexity of it resulted in people minding their own "business" rather than attempt to reach out to other religions and try to understand them. A result of the absolute truth preached by many religions. The idea of the one and only truth that the religion preached. Exclusivity.

People who judged that Islam is the root cause of the many problems that plagued the world today. From the events of September 11th to the promulgation of the other meanings of the term "Jihad", it is hard not to look at Islam in an uncompromising way. But ain't Christainity also guilty for the Crusades, genocides, holocaust. In the recent tibet protests, 9 monks were held by the Chinese government for bombing making! I believe neither the muslims, the christians and the buddists that planned to set the bomb off see themselves as evil beings. The threat against humanity is a blind spot for them as they attempt to accelerate in the highway of evil.

The current world order or should i say chaos need urgent attention. Before an progress can be made we need to define what progress means. When you are standing on the edge of the cliff, progress is no longer define as taking a step forward. Taking a step backward to reconcillate, preach peaceful resolutions is not easy but is surely a necessity in the already chaotic world messed up by messed up religious doctrines and followers of the religions. To see other religion in relation to rather than in opposition to would lead to greater understanding than intolerance. if you see me read my book, maybe you should us yourself what evil has your religion done rather than what evil other religion is capable of.

DABDA!! Emotional Responses

D A B D A:
Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance

The above represents the stages of emotion reactions when people faced with a life-threatening illness or life-changing situation. However, it can be applied in many aspects of your life in many unpleasant situations.

For example,

When Approach called up to scold you for things you had done. Or your boss screwed up your life.

Denial.
You are confused as to why there is such a reaction. You cannot understand what actually is there to be upset about.

Anger.
You get all "TL". Why is it you get wack? So small thing must say til like that meh?

Bargaining.
You suspect yourself and ask yourself if you could have done better. If you had not done what you did what would have happen. If you had done otherwise would it be better.

Depression.
You get upset by the strong language related to you. You get upset and suspect your ability. Demoralised.

Acceptance.
You accepted that you could have done better. You accepted the fact that maybe some people are just easily irritable. You accepted that it is all just part of the job and no one is really against anyone.

This is DABDA. The stages of grief management. The sequence may differ from each person but these are the general emotional reactions.

Have you felt that before? If you have not... May be you have been an A**. Haha!!

Rain

I love it when it rains. Cool comfort of the rain. Monotonous reiteration of rain hitting the surroundings drugs my soul. The cold winter winds chill my bones; refreshingly good. Melancholy gladness.

Just came back from Phuket. The sun, sand and the beautiful beaches. I love it. The food was fine, the whiskey on rocks were smooth. The massage feels good only if the masseur is good. Long walk to the beach in sorching sun. We had pizza, onion rings, cold beer. Swimming in the short lap pool ain't much of a challenge but was good enough for rest and relax. I got to know Kata beach inside out now. It's like going back home everytime i visit. Shall be planning for a next trip. Hopefully it will be soon.

The Management 2

They are back with a vengeance!
The management have never failed to impress me with the way they set things out. It makes me wonder why any person or groups of people with good sense would come out with proposals that aims to cripple the lives their employees and still feel that they have done an excellent job. I am always puzzled by their inability to have any empathy for people. I wonder how they treat their own parents, wives or child. Maybe; heartlessly.

子曰: "己所不欲、勿施於人"
Dont do unto others what you do not wish others to do unto you.

The Management clearly lacks any ability to appreciate the beauty of such words. The implementation of my new shift system in the months to come would reduced the quality time that i need to spent with my family and my gal. The important weekends where normal people do lovey and caring stuff like going to dinner together as a family would become a rarity. Instead i would be force by the highly capable people in the Management to work. I don't like it! I hate the fact that my life is controlled by such incapable people.

When the whole civil service got the 5 to 6% increment many donkey years ago, we were told that the Management are looking into it. Finally, the highly capable people have come out with a fantastic offer of the same UP TO 6% OFFER. It seems like Metro trying to attract some innocent, stupid, idiotic passer-bys to their shop. AND they backdate it to Jan 2008! I cannot help but sense a conspiracy. Shouldn't it be backdated to the days when the whole civil service got the increment? I guess some stupid lazy ass in the Management feels that it would be easy to backdate it to Jan 2008 as it makes the calculation easier for his simplistic mind. I cannot help but wonder what would have happen if the proposal sets the backdate dates to a few months earlier. Maybe the person doing the calculation would have quit because of his inability to calcualte the right amount.

I love my family and i love my free time.
You people sucks big time.
You guys like to suck my love and free time away.
I got no choice but to stay.
If there would be any chance i won't.
I love my job, don't make me dislike it because i cannot have a balanced life to enjoy this short journey on the planet.
I am pro-love.
Don't let that stupidity factor of your gets multiplied into my life.
Your actions don't cause any impact on you but it affects the lives and families of many.
Just stop and let your simplistic mind think.
THINK!